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  • Writer's pictureerinwalter

Breaking the Silence: Father's Day Grief, it's not one size fits all.

Father's Day can be an incredibly challenging time for those who have lost their fathers or are mourning the loss of a child. It is a day that highlights the absence of a loved one and can intensify feelings of grief and longing. The absence is glaring.

In this blog, I extend my deepest compassion to those who are navigating this painful journey. It's not for the faint of heart whether you are in the early raw moments of grief or years out and navigating life's events without them. I offer three heartfelt tips to help you find solace, strength, and a sense of connection on Father's Day.

Embrace Self-Care and Rituals: Engaging in self-care activities and establishing meaningful rituals can provide a sense of comfort and help you honour your emotions. Create a space for yourself to reflect, remember, and process your grief. Consider activities like journaling, visiting a special place that holds memories, or creating a memory box with items that remind you of your father or child. Saying their name and sharing a story about their life is incredibly emotional yet healing. Embracing these personal rituals allows you to acknowledge your feelings and celebrate the bond you shared.

Be gentle on yourself, not all relationships are Hallmark movies. Relationships are complicated and complex, it is possible you may carry guilt, shame or regret. Knowing you can not change the circumstances, be extra aware that it's not all yours to carry. There was another person involved and you did the best you could with what you knew at the time. Looking back now comes with a different lens, you could not see that then. Be kind with your thoughts.

Seek Support and Connection: Remember that you are not alone in your grief. Reach out to your support network, whether it's family, friends, or a grief support group. Sharing your thoughts and emotions with others who understand can provide tremendous comfort and validation. If you feel overwhelmed, consider seeking professional counseling or therapy. Grief counselors are experienced in helping individuals navigate their emotions and find healthy coping strategies.

By opening up and connecting with others, you can find solace and strength in shared experiences. You don't need to be silent and know that many people are very nervous to bring their name up but desperately want to. You are human and there is no direct route through grief.

According to a study conducted by the Center for Loss and Life Transition, approximately 7.7 million men in the United States have experienced the death of a child. This staggering statistic highlights the immense number of fathers who have endured the profound pain of losing a child.

Honour Their Memory: On Father's Day, find meaningful ways to honour the memory of your father or child. Engage in activities or traditions that you shared together, such as cooking his favorite meal, watching his favorite movie, or visiting a place that held significance for both of you.

Consider creating a tribute, such as writing a letter expressing your love and gratitude or writing out anything you want that wasn't said. Light a candle or raise your glass in a toast.

By honouring their memory, you keep their spirit alive and nurture the connection that transcends physical presence. They lived a life, remember that no matter how long or short it was.

Father's Day can evoke a range of emotions for those who are grieving the loss of their fathers or children. It is important to be gentle with yourself and acknowledge that healing takes time and connection. Embrace self-care, seek support, and find meaningful ways to honour their memory. Remember that grieving fathers are not alone in their pain, and reaching out for support can provide comfort and understanding. Many Fathers do not admit to the depth of their grief, but they grieve and mostly in silence. If you know a grieving father take the time to send that text or reach out to them. Sometimes there are no words but knowing your are there is the biggest gift you can give.

May this Father's Day be a time of reflection, healing, and remembrance for all those who carry their loved ones in their hearts.

Continue to breathe


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